Hi, Hello, How are you?
This was on and off on my mind the other day and I felt compelled to write about it because I CANT be the only one.
So I had this unpleasant encounter the other day with a black woman. It’s been happening a lot lately with different black women in different places.
I was driving out of a parking lot that requires you to take (remember that I had to take one to get in) and later insert a ticket in order to enter and exit the lot. As I was leaving I noticed I had to insert the ticket into the machine for the gate to go up. I huffed a bit and got out of my car because I’m short so I can’t just reach and insert it lol. I also have a bad knee so I was taking my time. Not TOO much time though because not even 5 seconds went by before I heard “HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! THE GATE IS OPEN!!!!!”
I couldn’t believe how disgustingly rude she was. First off not knowing that I have a bad knee so I have to get out the car and take my time doing so. I don’t like to cause any more pain to my knee if I don’t have to. But again, not even 5 seconds passed?
Now see, incidents like this always catch me off guard because I try to go about my day being as kind as I can be to strangers because this world is so fucked as is. We as a society glorify, justify and marinate ourselves into negativity by what we say, watch, read, think, who we associate ourselves with, etc. No need to add to that, I believe in bringing the balance but that could be the Libra in me. 😉
Depending on my mood that day is how I usually react although lately, I have been good with just moving forward and not even engaging with negative people because that’s their problem, not mine but being that she was a black woman, I had to say something.
I wanted to speak to her higher self. I did not come at her screaming, cursing her out, ask her “Fuck is you talking to??,” etc. I just drove up to her window and told her ( I may have had a face lol) “You don’t have to be rude,” and I drove off. I was so hurt by it at the time because it wasn’t the first, second, or third time these past few weeks.
The moment I left there, bad things began to happen. I was almost hit by a few trucks and ran off the road a couple times all while driving back to my destination in those 15 minutes. Being that my bad knee is due to being hit by an 18 wheeler and flew out a car in the area I was in, I was shaking. I was scared, anxious and triggered but none of that was making sense. I have this strong sensation her negativity rubbed off on me or something worse. I took care of that the moment I came home. I sent all negativity back to sender by taking the ticket and writing that “I return all negativity intentionally thrown my way or not back to sender” while picturing the line of events, burning it, flushing it and was good right after that. My spiritual tribe don’t play that lol. ❤
I sit there thinking Why? Why do some of us as black women feel it’s okay to be nasty to one another for no reason? How are we fighting for equality and respect if we can’t even respect one another as people? I see these memes and these groups and posts, vides etc. on black women needing to empower each other and how we need to have each other’s back because it’s different living in this world for us than it is for many others, yet we deal with this?
I’ve watched the same people preach black pride , tear down their own verbally and for what reason? It could be many I guess? Jealousy, taking personal issues out on others, but most of these encounters happen while just at the counter ringing up your groceries, or a parking deck. Am I the only one?
Now I’m not saying that all black women do this and that those black women that are for uplifting are the same ones giving dirty looks when another black woman passes by, but it’s like others don’t want to join in on that unity or catch on.
But what I also realized is no matter how I look, dress, speak, who I am with at the time of the incidents, etc. At the end of the day it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them and their journey. Self-hate, PMSing, etc. can all play factors and me trying to figure it out isn’t helping anyone. All I can do is keep spreading the love and bringing that balance because that is a part of my purpose here. I’ll keep smiling at you, I’ll keep asking how your day is going at the register, etc. Maybe doing so will encourage others to be the same way. We have it hard enough.
Have you had similar experiences or has it been the complete opposite? Let’s hear about it in the comment section below this.